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Vogon Poetry
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Image:Vogon_poetry.jpg Arthur_Dent.html" title="Meaning of thumb thumb|[[Arthur Dent being read Vogon poetry in the
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV series) TV series.html" title="Meaning of [[Arthur Dent">thumb|[[Arthur Dent being read Vogon poetry in the
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV series) TV series">[[Arthur Dent">thumb|[[Arthur Dent being read Vogon poetry in the
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV series) TV series
'''Vogon Poetry''' is
poetry written by
Races and Species in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy#Vogons Vogons, a
List of space aliens in fiction fictional race in
Douglas Adams' ''
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy''. According to The Guide:
:''Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master
Minor characters from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy#Grunthos the Flatulent Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major
intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator,
Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of
Redbridge, London Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet
Places in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy#Earth Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.''
Listening to it is an experience similar to torture as demonstrated when
Arthur Dent and
Ford Prefect (character) Ford Prefect are forced to listen to the Vogon captain's poetry prior to being thrown out of an
airlock.
Excerpt:
:''Oh freddled gruntbuggly,''
:''Thy micturations are to me''
:''As plurdled gabbleblotchits''
:''On a lurgid bee.''
:''Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes''
:''And hooptiously drangle me''
:''with crinkly bindlewurdles,''
:''Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon''
:''See if I don't.''
A second example of Vogon poetry was found in the Hitchhiker's Guide
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game) interactive fiction game that was produced by
Infocom. This actually includes the first verse of the shorter poem above; if nothing else, it is fair to say that
Minor characters from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy#Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was consistent in his efforts to reach out to and crush souls with his poetry. During the game, the following lines would be printed in random order as the second verse, with the last line (the one ending in ''Moose'') always appearing last. Thus what follows is only one of six possible combinations.
:''Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!''
:''Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs.''
:''Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt!''
:''Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose.''
{{HitchhikerMiscellanea}}
External link
-
BBC's page on Vogon Poetry with a [http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/vogonpoetry/lettergen.shtml Vogon Poem Generator]
Category:Fictional poems
Category:Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Category:Motif of harmful sensation
cy:Fogonydd (Beirdd)
hu:Vogon költészet
see
Vogon poetry
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